Joseph Stalin raises his head, a sly twinkle in his eye as he meets the bald man’s suggestive gaze. “Walter…” He purrs, dragging his tongue along the underside of his mustache in anticipation. “I see you’ve finally arrived.”
"Oh, Walter," The man chuckled, mustache quivering in delight. "I am the police.”
You know, funny story: There’s this craft store called Michaels. Look, my sister knits, and she goes to Michaels. So my sister called me and she’s like, “Oh my god, I’m at Michaels, picking up yarn. You have a poster at Michaels.” I’m like, “What?” She’s like, “There’s a poster, there’s a Falcon poster at Michaels.” I’m like, “Holy s**t!” She’s like, “I’m gonna come and pick you up, and we’re gonna see your poster in this store.” So she picks me up and we go to Michaels.
We go in, and I see the poster and I’m like, “Oh, this is….” She’s like, “I know, I know.” I said, “I’m gonna sign these posters.” I was like, “That would be amazing, you buy a poster and it’s like, actually signed by the Falcon.” Like, it would blow my mind. So I go to the front, I buy a Sharpie, I run back to the back of the store. And she’s like, “I’m gonna take a picture of you signing it.”
I’m in this store and I’m signing all the posters. The manager comes out, he’s like, “Hey, whatcha doing?” I was like, “Oh man, I’m signing these posters so when people buy ‘em, they’re signed.” He’s like, “Well, people are not gonna buy ‘em if they’re signed.” And I was like, “No, no, no, it’s cool. I’m pretty sure there won’t be a problem.” And he goes, “Yeah, but it is gonna be a problem, you’re messin’ up my inventory.” And I’m like, “No, my man, trust me. I mean, I’m the Falcon, that’s me!” And he goes, “Yeah, right. You’re gonna buy those posters.” I said, “What?” He’s like, “You’re gonna buy all those posters or I’m gonna call the police.”
He rolls up all the posters and goes to the front of the store. And I had to buy like 60 Falcon posters that I signed in Michaels.
”—Anthony Mackie getting in trouble for signing his posters at a Micheals (x)
“Some actors are famous for great lines like ‘Life is like a box of chocolates’. But not me. No, I get ‘Lucifer, you’re my brother, and I love you. But you are a great big bag of dicks’”—Richard Speight Jr. (via heyheyitscarly)j (via amypondsdoctor)
i can’t believe people get so angry about a bisexual spider-man. whatever. have your shitty bi/homophobic opinions. you’re an asshole anyway. i just can’t believe you’re robbing everyone of all the glorious ‘swings both ways’ jokes
YEAH those kids at my school were fucking kids tho, I mean I don’t judge people by their age but they were 3 years younger than me at least and they acted liked children somehow but the teachers were all like “god dammit guys get your shit together it’s not like she’s gonna rape you now or something what the hell is wrong with you”
At least the teachers were pretty cool. Structural support always helps. Yayyyyy nice people. ;P
but i would have murdered those little brats. not because of anger but because YAY HOMICIDE
UGHHHH My dad was pretty cool with it but I once said at school “yeah and my girlfriend […]” and everyone was like “wait what” and then all the girls literally ran away from me because they were scared that I might do things with them
like really scared…they told that to my teachers lmao
oh my gosh, what a bunch of assholes. Ugh ugh ugh. People suck.
i can’t tell if my favorite way of coming out is just very causally where it just slips into conversation and is accepted or very overtly like when a friend suggested we go to chick-fil-a. I said that I’d never eaten there, but really don’t want to. When prompted why, I said because of their homophobic standards. To that she replied “but I really like chicken” to which I replied “But I really like girls-” It was the best thing because my friends who knew just busted out laughing with me and the other friend seemed dumbstruck. It was great and I love it.